Love I

There was,

was a point when

I no longer shied

from an incommensurable fact.

The woman and my

love for her had

together conspired

to eliminate me.

When,

when I first thought in

this fashion I held

back from speaking.

On one

hand it was, simply,

outrageous. How could

it be possible, intention

aside?

And on

the other, if I spoke it

would end all

possibility of amicable

relations and I still des-

perately needed, could

not bear it to be

otherwise. No, I

said, no end to

amicable relations:

Or I die.

What kind

of love is

that?

Clearly insane. But I

had said

repeatedly

that if my

future did

not include

her I would

prefer death.

And so it was.

Clearly insane. But my

children and friends

worked mightily to

beat back the beast.

And I compromised.

If I died it would be

well and if I lived it

would be well, and

all manner of thing

would be well (said

Hildegard). And I

trusted Hildegard.